"Resilience is about how you recharge, not how you endure."
I love this quote. It comes from a really good article written by Harvard Business Review a few years ago and I keep coming back to it.
Here is the original article: https://hbr.org/2016/06/resilience-is-about-how-you-recharge-not-how-you-endure
This brings me to something really important which I talk about with my patients all the time called Planned Recovery. But first, let me explain the CRASH cycle.
Many people believe that in order to get everything done, they aren't allowed to stop until it is done.
But this creates feelings of resentment, burnout , guilt and shame.
People may take a break, but after hours of watching TV or having a nap, they still feel burnout because they have criticised themselves needing the break, perceiving it to be a failure.
Here is an alternative:
Let's imagine that you decided to drive across the country, so you fill up the tank and start driving. Eventually your car would run out of fuel and you would need to stop.
Are you going to then yell at the car for running out of fuel? Will you criticise it and call it weak? Kick the tyres, tell it that it has failed and insist that it keep going anyway?
Chances are that you will acknowledge that cars need fuel, put more in and then keep going when you're ready.
You need fuel too. Criticising yourself for it won't change that.
Grit: The power of passion and perseverance
Angela Lee Duckworth
This TED talk talks about Angela's research as she attempts to predict success in education. Her concept of grit expresses a willingness to keep working towards long term goals and overcome obstacles. Sounds a little like resilience, but definitely relevant to how you face your recovery.
Also, if like me you immediately wonder how to measure grit, click the button to go to her questionnaire.